– Did ye see Samantha Mumba is handing out bags a’ cocks.
– What the fuck are ye smoking today?
– The Eurovision thing Friday night on RTÉ? Ye miss it?
– Aye, sadly. Had it in the diary an’ all.
– Yeah well Samantha reckons the judging panel need to choke on cocks.
– Right. Lovely. I take it she didn’t win.
– Na. Came second.
– But she’s not bitter or anything like that?

– Na. Definitely not bitter. Doing very well for herself beyond in LA apparently.
– Right. And came the whole way back for the Irish leg of the Eurovision?
– That’s business lad – ye gotta keep shaking the sausages.
– And has the internet crashed with pictures of the panel choking on cocks?
– Not really. Donal Skehan reckons it’s just a bit of craic. And, I’d say the rest of them is well conditioned to cocks by now. Actually, I’m not sure if Bambi Thug is into cocks or not.
– I fucken love Bambi. She was robbed last year in my opinion.
– I dunno but ye definitely love Laura Fox. She is the fox ‘innit.
– Jesus, did Foxy get a turn too? Sounds like RTÉ rolled out big talent. So who won it?
– Guess. Three guesses.
– Johnny? Crystal Swing? Johnny?
– Na. The Norwegian.