– We’re absolutely and totally fucked.
– What ye worrying about now?
– Micheál meeting Trump tomorrow. The Orange boy is going to ask for the Apple profits back.
– Chill out. He’ll never get a bob off a Cork man. But if it comes to the crunch we just need to offer bus shelters in lieu of cash.

– Ah stop.
– And sweeten the deal with a few smartphone pouches for Barron and Trump Junior.
– Fuck. I’m telling ye, Trump’ll do a Zelensky on Micheál and he’ll start giving cheek like he’s talking to Mary Lou in the Dáil.
– Here’s a question. Why didn’t Trump didn’t make the meeting with Zelensky a pay per view? Would’a made a fortune.
– That was totally horrific. God be with the days when an ally of the US would be excited going to the White House.
– It’ll be grand. And at least Micheál won’t get Covid this time and end up calling the White House from an Irish Pub in DC.
– At least he couldn’t fuck it up.
– Bingo. All Micheál needs to do is pop a few Xanex in the morning before he heads in.
– He may slip a few into Vance too.
– And why wouldn’t he? Sure isn’t Xanax made in Ireland?
– Ah jaysis. If we mention big Pharma we’re totally sunk.
– And fuck the bowls of shamrocks. We need to be dishing out bowls of Kerrygold and Viagra.
– I doubt that’s how Ivanka wants to spend St Patricks Day.
– Buttering sandwiches or riding?
– Put it like this, I’d say she’d never buttered a ham and mustard sandwich in her life.
– I’d say you’re right.