Two Irishmen discuss upskilling and rebranding among other options…

Micky – It’s time to quit this column. Retrain. Upskill. And pronto.
Joe – Quit the column?
Micky – We’re being phased out so jump while we’re ahead.
Joe – Slow down. I can’t be jumping anywhere with these hips. Who’s phasing us out?
Mickey – The writer. Doesn’t see any point in keeping us talking.

Joe – Is he worried about the column facing low cost job competition from illegal immigrants?
Mickey – I knew you’d go there…
Joe – “Two Turkmenistani’s Talk Trash collection and other low paid jobs.”
Mickey – It’s Turkmenian if you want to be accurate.
Joe – I don’t want to be accurate. How about “Two Mexican Gangsters Shoot the Breeze and other rival gangsters?”
Mickey – Are you going to libel every ethnic group in the world?
Joe – I certainly can. “Two Spiffing Englishmen Have Jolly Civil Conversations in the drawing room.”
Mickey – Maybe we should have talked more about drinking and fighting?
Joe – And hating the Brits. I can turn that switch on in a second.
Mickey – Kneecap have that angle covered. Anyway who’d want to read that?
Joe – I would.
Mickey – But would you pay for a subscription?
Joe – Hmm.
Mickey – Well?
Joe – To be honest the oldest boy is looking an iPhone. Happiness ain’t cheap.
Mickey – Exactly. So this is it then. Goodbye.
Joe – Hold on. One other thought. What if we just have a chat whenever we want for the sake of having a chat.
Mickey – What? Us two talking? Just for kicks?
Joe – Exactly. Old style. Talking because we feel like it. And if anyone reads it well, fair play to them.
Mickey – Are you suggesting we do it because we actually enjoy it.
Joe – Yes. Fuck AI. Let’s just chat. I know, it’s revolutionary.
Mickey – Christ Joe. I feel like we’re really connecting and that’s what I love about our friendship.
Joe – And I love knowing that I’m not the stupidest cunt in the world.